Reclaim Your Self Talk

Can you look into the mirror and really look purposefully into your own eyes and say, I love you.

You may cringe at the thought of doing so. Or you might think, sure I can do that - and then quiver when approaching the mirror.

Is it surprising to know that we are the most hard on ourselves? We don't talk to our loved ones the way we talk to ourselves. And in my experience, people who are asked to look at their reflection with love and kindness are more likely to focus on what they don’t like about themselves, both internally and externally.

If you can't quite do the I love you statement in front of the mirror just yet, here's a way to ease into more loving and kind self talk.

  • First, go into observer mode. This is the part of our mind that we can tune into to become aware of the many thoughts we have going on at any given time. Allow the observer mind to become aware with neutrality.

  • Tune into the observer mind to notice how many self critical thoughts you're thinking. Often, our mood may take a downward turn when our thoughts become self critical, condemning and full of shame. So if your mood has taken a downshift, tune into observing the self talk.

  • From this point of awareness you can start to filter out the thoughts and assumptions that are not kind and accepting. Usher them out, on their way, don’t give them any more nutrition or power, just gently escort them out. Then start to replace them with softer, supportive and nurturing statements.

  • Make anything Possible. It’s unrealistic to behave in a way that is self punishing while repeating an I love myself! mantra. Instead, say, It’s possible for me to like myself.

    Our life experience thrives upon our thoughts. Make them delicious!

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Do you have a child? A dog? A cat? A fish?


If you wouldn't say something to your beloved child or pet, don't say it to yourself!

Things you'd never say to your son or daughter (human, canine or feline):

You're so stupid

Why are you so dumb

You’ll never find anyone to love you

You're really unattractive

You're an idiot for doing that

I wish you'd never been born

No, no, no! If you wouldn't say it to your beloveds - don't say it to yourself.

Some things you can say to yourself:

I'm doing the best I can

I believe in my ability to change

I can choose kinder things to say to myself

I have a good nature

My heart is kind and open

I genuinely care about people (and pets!)

Tomorrow will be better

I'm being patient with myself

Mistakes are part of being human

I choose not to condemn myself anymore

I have some really great qualities

I can forgive myself

I don't have to beat myself up anymore

It's all part of my journey

I choose not to judge myself

There's nothing wrong with me

I accept myself just the way I am

I trust myself

I can release these thoughts for the moment

All of this is possible if I choose it to be

If these words bring up uncomfortable feelings - just be with them. If those affirmations feel like they're too far away, just add the word possible into the phrasing. 

It's possible I can . . . . 

Okay, now go take a nap and dream sweet dreams of kind and loving things.

Unless it's the very start of the day - then save the nap for later. Naps or quiet time are necessary for nurturing your soul. It's essential to rest in order to have restoration. Without rest, you’d be doing public speaking - that’s everyone’s number 1 fear. You don’t want to do that, right?


Let the color lavender remind you to have Kindness In Mind

Whenever you see a soft lavender color, be reminded to be soft with your words, your thoughts.

How to remember this?

  • Spray lavender essential oil on yourself and your surroundings

  • Wear Amethyst - a bracelet, necklace, earrings or all three

  • Drape yourself in a lavender scarf for the day

Take good care of your heart and soul,

Patty Blue Hayes

~ The Seed Does Not Become A Blossom Overnight ~

Feeling the need for more support through the grief of a heartbreak from divorce or a break up? My audio program, You Can Heal Your Heartbreak, is designed to help you navigate through the crushing feelings and emotional pain.

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