DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR LIFE IS OVER BECAUSE YOUR RELATIONSHIP ENDED?
Are You Afraid You Won’t Get Through Your Heartbreak?
If you’re feeling like I did after my husband left, you may have anxiety, confusion and feelings of despair. Maybe you’re not eating or sleeping and your mind is looping the same sad thoughts over and over again. Life doesn't seem real.
You might not have been given a real answer as to why he left and you feel blindsided and in shock.
Are you willing to learn 12 valuable healing practices I discovered from my own experience of a devastating heartbreak . . .
I didn’t know who I was without being my husband’s wife. When he said with such clarity, “I don’t think we should be married anymore,” my heart almost stopped beating. I knew he meant it. He moved out 5 days later after our 17 years together.
I felt broken and abandoned.
if you’ve been struggling for months and feel like the pain will never go away, it's time to take some action steps.
What if . . .
You could stop giving your power away to a person who didn't value your worth?
You knew how to take charge of your thoughts and started feeling like you could cope with the changes?
You had a plan of action in place to get you through the darkness and had a compassionate guide to lead you with empathy toward the healing light?
You felt a sense of relief, knowing you have the support you need to get through each day with a little more hope than the day before?
It’s time to stop asking why it happened and start asking:
What Can I Do Today To Start Feeling Better?
If you want to move on from the crippling pain of your heartbreak then this may be one of the most important things you’ll read.
I know these awful feelings firsthand.
I’m Patty Blue Hayes, the award-winning author of Wine, Sex and Suicide – My Near Death Divorce and today, a life coach on a mission to help you and others just like you move through the pain of heartbreak in as healthy a way as possible. I didn’t do that and my heartbreak almost claimed my life.
It's a brutal truth that life as you knew it is over.
It’s a soul shredding realization that the person you loved has moved on without you, leaving you in emotional pain so great that it physically hurts. I know it doesn’t seem possible to imagine you’ll ever get through the feelings of loss, unworthiness and fear. You might feel like you’ll be frozen in this state of sadness and despair forever – because your life has changed forever.
Don’t you wish you had a roadmap to get you out of the maze?
This one moment, right now, you have a choice to decide to take action with the intention of feeling better.
More of my personal story . . .
I wanted to magically transform into one of the happy women staring back at me from the "starting over" section in magazines, women who seamlessly gallivanted past their severed marriages to start amazing businesses and take up exotic hobbies. But that wasn’t my story.
If you’re like me, you might have good intentions to heal and evolve but may be using sex, drugs and rock and roll to escape the pain. Too much shopping? Rebound relationships? It’s time to bring awareness to your coping mechanisms.
In my 17-year relationship and marriage, I was too dependent on my husband for my feelings of worth and value as a human being and as a wife. When he left, I felt broken. He was my whole world and it crushed me to think I failed as a wife, that my husband was so miserable with me.
Having your spouse walk out and tell you, “I’m not in love with you anymore,” is a soul-crushing blow like nothing I’d ever experienced.
I’d been through the deaths of my parents; I thought certainly I could get through my divorce. But it was an entirely different kind of loss. And when the pain from rejection and betrayal became too great to bear, I tried to end my life.
You may have even had those thoughts but you’re too ashamed to tell anyone. And so you feel even more alone and that no one understands what you’re going through. No one should go through heartbreak alone. You need a guide on this type of journey. I wish I'd had the knowledge, tools, practices and insights I have now back when I desperately needed it.
That's why I put these 12 practices together for you to work through at your own pace.
Grief and the healing journey are different for all of us. But there are commonalities in our feelings, our thoughts about ourselves and reconciliation with our feelings. What I’m offering is a solid, structured, easy audio program for you to learn some valuable practices.
All of the 12 practices in my program were gathered up along my very bumpy path of healing my heartbreak. I didn’t have a roadmap, so that’s why I’ve created one.
I was seeing my therapist twice a week but after I left her office I went back to the same thinking and the same drinking to avoid my feelings and numb my pain.
I was doing some good things, like volunteer work, but I didn’t understand how to really take charge of my healing. I felt like nothing would change because he wasn't coming back.
I didn’t know about:
Setting my intentions for healing
Monitoring my emotions and thoughts and using them as a guide
Living in the present moment (yes, it's challenging)
How to identify my emotions as energy in motion in the body, needing to be expressed and released
How vital it is to generate my own feelings of worth and value
The crucial importance of patience
I was stuck wallowing in the past or projecting way out into the bleak and unknown future.
But I kept moving forward, determined to get past the pain. One of the most valuable things I can share with you is this:
You have to go through the pain in order to get past it.
Why didn’t my therapist tell me that?
It's human nature to avoid painful emotions. But there is a way to acknowledge them, honor them and release them.
Maybe you're afraid the awful emotions will stay with you forever and so you don't allow them to come to the surface. But you know what? Emotions are a lot like the clouds in the sky, they change from moment to moment. And as you’ve learned, nothing lasts forever.
You may be asking, “How is this program going to make things better when it’s not going to bring my partner back?”
While your life circumstances have changed the thing you do have ownership of is how you will respond to that change?
There are two kinds of changes we go through in life, those of our own choosing and the ones we have no control over. We certainly don’t like those very much. But are we going to let those changes define us?
Yes, I plopped myself on the couch and watched mindless television, trying to block out my worry. Yes, I was numbing out with alcohol and trying to prove I was a desirable woman by bringing home strangers.
But eventually I started reading books on personal growth and I learned how powerful our minds are in creating our experiences. I connected back with my spiritual side that I’d let go in the marriage. I picked up different healing practices and tried them repeatedly. I had backslides, plenty of them because I was a bit directionless without a plan and I didn’t know then what I know now.
I don’t want you to be one of the ones who spins in circles day in and day out for months and months without feeling any better at all. I’ve seen this happen too many times.
People will tell me how miserable they are, how empty, alone, anxious and confused ~ but when I ask if they’ve taken action to feel better . . . . sadly, the answer is "no."
I can’t state this clearly enough:
No change = No change
If you don’t take any action at all to change your thoughts, beliefs and actions then things will stay the same. You’ll have the same fear of the future, the same sense of unworthiness, the same anxiety, and the same despair.
I created the "You Can Heal Your Heartbreak" program because I don’t want you to feel as alone as I did. I want to give you good solid, proven practices you can bring into your daily life and start feeling better.
These practices came from my own healing journey and study of people like my mentor Mike Dooley, who I personally trained with for my Infinite Possibilities certification.
Other teachers I've studied include Pema Chodron, Dr. Joe Dispenza, Napoleon Hill, Mary Manin Morrissey, Caroline Myss, Gabrielle Bernstein, Danielle LaPorte, Deepak Chopra, Abraham Hicks, Teal Swan, Les Brown, JB Glossinger, Eckhart Tolle, Joseph Murphy, PhD, Louise Hay, Don Miguel Ruiz, Joe Vitale, Lisa Nichols, Christie Marie Sheldon and many others.
I received formal Life Coach training and went on to become a certified facilitator of the self empowerment program, Infinite Possibilities, created by NY Times Best Selling author Mike Dooley, who is also known for his part in the movie, The Secret.
The 12-session "You Can Heal Your Heartbreak" audio program is a digital download, easy for you to use at your convenience on your device.
Of course I don’t recommend listening while you’re driving as there are meditations and journaling exercises, but you can always listen to the session and do the exercises later.
In the FIRST SESSION on Asking For Support, you’ll learn:
How you get to choose how to respond to heartbreak
Why some family or friends aren’t supportive
How to discern which friends to turn to for emotional support
The blood work test I suggest you ask your doctor about
Suggestions for your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual support
The end of the week exercise that will show you your progress
The SECOND SESSION is on Extreme Self Care, you’ll get insight into:
Preparing for the journey of heartbreak
Whether you feel deserving of taking care of yourself
What words to say to yourself
The important practice of self forgiveness
And because Self Care is so important, the session covers a few more things:
7 insightful journal prompts to discover some limiting beliefs
How to use your smart phone to keep you on track for self care
The one important question to ask yourself each day
SESSION THREE is all about emotions and Feeling, Expressing and Releasing them. This covers:
What exactly emotions are and where they live in the body
An exercise to explore different feelings
Pausing your impulse for the emotional escape route
What to ask your emotions
Matching your actions to the energy of the emotion
My favorite use of an onion
A guided visualization to release anger
SESSION FOUR is all about Gratitude and Perspective. This covers:
The science of the amazing affects of gratitude
My favorite use for a magnifying glass
A guided meditation to give you perspective
SESSION FIVE introduces you to Creating a Filter. This covers:
The importance of filtering what comes into your awareness
Creating a safety zone
People, places, things and events all need a filter
Being aware of your current state
SESSION SIX deals with Changing Your Environment and how:
A poem will have you see the cycles of change
Applying a physics law can help you feel better
To lessen the emotional charge of dealing with memorabilia
A visioning exercise helps you bring in new colors
To dig into your closet for a feeling of renewal
You should get rid of this one thing you shared with your spouse
To let physical things go in order to lighten up the energy
In SESSION SEVEN, I go over the practices of Meditation and Mindfulness where you’ll learn:
The difference between receiving and taking
How the present moment is in the palm of your hand
My favorite exercise with a magnifying glass
How to use chocolate to be mindful
The simplicity of intention setting
SESSION EIGHT connects you to your Soul Self where you’ll discover:
How to tap into your IGS (Internal Guidance System)
The importance of surrounding yourself with creature comforts
The part of you that is the purest form of energy
Your own ruby slippers
Your past joyful self in a guided meditation
In the NINTH SESSION I cover Having Faith and what that means:
The F word, Fear
Faith is not religion
How important it is to talk to your fear
Set aside hope, and what to replace it with
Why not to ask “Why?”
In the TENTH SESSION, it’s all about Finding a Superhero and you’ll learn:
What to look for on YouTube to feel better
How to put on your magic cape
A Buddhist practice to help you not feel alone
About the imaginary council of advisors
SESSION ELEVEN goes over The Mirror Technique and you’ll understand:
How the way people treat us has to do with us, not them
Who you need to love, honor and cherish
The impact of making eye contact
The valuable quantum leap conversation with your future self
In SESSION TWELVE, I talk about Volunteering to Help Others
Why I exiled myself to Romania for Christmas
Where to find the best volunteer match
Replacing the void in your life
Physiological benefits of volunteering
Random acts of kindness
There’s no reason to suffer through each day aimlessly, feeling like you just can’t wait for nightfall so you can go to sleep and not think about your ex and how your life has changed.
Even though your life circumstances have changed and you might feel powerless because it wasn’t your choice, the power you have is in making this decision:
How are you going to deal with it from this day forward?
From what I’ve learned having been through my own experience and talking with many women, the biggest mistake we make is to turn a blind eye to our healing thinking that the passage of time is the only thing that will help.
You can’t change what happened but you can choose how you deal with it.
How many more days, weeks or months do you want to go on feeling just like you are right now as you’re reading this?
I numbed out with alcohol and bedmates. We might overwork, fooling ourselves into believing that keeping busy is a good thing when the truth is, not dealing with our feelings is the worst thing we can do. At some point your health might even be affected and then you’re ultimately forced to face the emotions you tried to stuff with shopping or sex or jumping from one toxic relationship to the next.
Why wait until the stress has taken a toll on your physical or mental health?
Personally, my pain got to a point where I didn’t want to go on living. I was going to therapy once, sometimes twice a week, but there was something missing. All I did was talk about how awful I felt and gave my therapist an accounting of the risky behavior I’d been doing since the last appointment.
What was missing in therapy was an action plan.
Therapy is a valuable treatment, but it wasn’t until I learned about personal development and empowerment that things slowly started to change for me. I had a long road ahead of me after years of feeling worthless and not having a solid plan for healing – I gathered my lessons along a very bumpy path.
I put my "You Can Heal Your Heartbreak" program together to spare you the bumps and bruises I had along the way.
But I have to be completely honest with you. You are the only one who can make the decision to take action. Reading this won’t change anything. Purchasing the program won’t change anything. It’s only by actually listening to the audios and doing the exercises that things will start to change.
Even when you don’t feel like it’s helping – you keep doing it because that’s the benefit of practice; we get better.
Have you ever trained for a marathon or prepared for a big exam or maybe you play piano? What happens when you don’t train, study or practice? Nothing. The same applies for healing from heartbreak or a broken bone. We have to tend to our injury in order to heal.
Taking consistent deliberate and intentional action is the only way to make improvement in anything in life, including healing from heartbreak.
With the "You Can Heal Your Heartbreak" program, you’ll also receive these bonuses:
Special Bonus #1
A one hour consultation with me, personally on Skype or the phone - whichever is your preference. This is your time to get my intuitive, personalized heartfelt guidance for your healing path. ($100 value)
Special Bonus #2
Three 25-minute guided meditations; one to help you sleep, one to calm an anxious mind and the third is to get clarity on a question. I personally recorded these meditations and each one references specific colors and aromas for your wellbeing. ($37 value)
With your audio program, "You Can Heal Your Heartbreak", you’ll learn how to ease the pain and get through each day.
With the program I’ve created, you will learn valuable tools and skills from a wide array of experts that I’ve studied over a five-year period. This program saves you the time and money from having to gather up helpful pieces of information one at a time over an expanded period of time. I’ve done that for you. All you have to do is sit back with a nice soothing cup of tea and start listening to the first session and put that practice into place for that first week.
My five years of study and practice are condensed into an easy to use 12-week program for you to use at your convenience.
Start Your Healing Journey in Just 20 minutes with the Your First Session.
I’m here to support you on your healing path.
With love and compassion,