Reclaim Your Anger

Krabi, Thailand - Longtail Boat

Krabi, Thailand - Longtail Boat

Seeing Red.


This might be a little uncomfortable for you. Many of us have a hard time dealing with anger. We're told it's uncivilized, barbaric, or that expressing anger means we are bad, out of control or that it's somehow not nice to show anger. 

Maybe our parents got angry and when they yelled it scared us so we never wanted to express our own anger. Or we never saw how to deal with and express anger in an appropriate and healthy way.

Anger is an appropriate response to an action that threatens us in some way. It's appropriate to be angry when someone disregards the values and qualities we hold in high regard.

If you've found yourself wallowing in sadness, it might help you to get in touch with the anger you may have been suppressing. It's said that depression is anger turned inward - so if you've been feeling down, melancholy or depressed, it might be worth a try to get in touch with anger.

Create some time for this exercise with a buffer of time afterwards where you don't have to deal with people. For example, don't bring up the anger and then run off to the motor vehicle department or post office. When I did this exercise I needed time afterwards for the heated emotions to settle. Which they absolutely did.

Create a safe place to sit and pay attention to your breathing, heart rate and body when you think about how someone may have betrayed you, disregarded you, lied to you, used you for their advantage, attacked you verbally or physically, deceived you, harassed you, manipulated you and caused you to feel like you questioned your own judgment.

Start to pay attention in your body where you may feel tightness, heat, spasm.

Now create an imaginary house where you are safe to walk in the front door, close it behind you and go in every room and express what may have come up. No one else can enter this house except you. You are not seen or heard by anyone else.

Let it out in that house of pain. Physically and verbally - let it out in each room.

When you feel a sense of completion with that exercise, come back out of that imaginary house, close the door behind you and go do something physical to let the residual energy out.

Kick box, hike, dance, garden, swing a bat, throw something, chop wood, chop vegetables, dig a trench, pull weeds, shovel snow, refinish furniture, hand-scrub a floor, knock down a wall, run, do karate, scream from the bottom of your gut - anything to physically express the energy of anger.

You may also have residual anger that you can express through journaling. I filled up page after page of very un-spiritual thoughts.

Go ahead and write down your thoughts, let them out.

You can also imagine the person you're angry with sitting in a chair and unleash your angry words on them. Play out a courtroom scene where you are the prosecutor and they are sitting sheepishly on the stand. Use your imagination to bring up a scenario that makes you feel empowered while expressing your anger, rage and fury.

It's safe to let it go.

It's healthy to let it out.

You may need to do this a few times in different sessions. Pay attention to your feelings and schedule another imaginary house visit and physical release if you need to.

Anger Is A Healthy Response When Someone Has Done Something Out Of Alignment With Our Values.
— Patty blue hayes
Chihuly Glass & Gardens, Seattle, WA

Chihuly Glass & Gardens, Seattle, WA

I learned this lesson about anger very, very late. 

After my ex left I was in shock and overwhelming sadness but little glimpses of anger showed up 8-12 months after he moved out. I figured it was too late to be angry. I thought I should be the bigger person and just move on toward acceptance. I thought anger wasn't healthy.

I had a huge energetic shift after doing some exercises around expressing anger. I felt empowered and stronger than I had in a long time.

When you see RED today, check in with yourself about scheduling some time to explore any possible suppressed feelings of anger.

Unlike the other days, I don't want you to be triggered into becoming angry when you see the color red ~ use it just as a reminder.

Be curious about. Have an open mind and give it a try.

How to remember this?

  • Eat red velvet cake or ice-cream being mindful of the sweetness

  • Wear a red scarf

  • Notice all the red lights and stop signs as you drive/walk

Take good care of your heart and soul

Patty Blue Hayes

~ The Seed Does Not Become A Blossom Overnight ~



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