675 Braless Miles

 Photo by  Pablo Heimplatz  on  Unsplash

Freedom comes in all shapes and sizes. Unfortunately, for larger breasted women, we don’t have too many opportunities to set the girls free from the hideous contraption known as the brassiere.

On a breezy Sunday afternoon as I set out on my maiden voyage in my Class C, I ditched the cup D underwired, movement constricting bondage device for the 675 mile drive from San Luis Obispo, CA to Tucson, AZ.

I staked my claim in the freedom to roam when I decided to embark on this RV adventure. I’d been torturing myself with some sort of mind bra for years that compressed my thoughts into unnatural shapes that weren't flattering to the free spirited part of myself I hadn't quite yet embraced. The profiles of what I thought success, accomplishment and responsibility looked like weren’t supportive of my top value; personal freedom. The freedom to be who I am and not try to squish myself into a mechanism of someone else's creation.

I’ve worn this mind bra for many years. As a pre-teen it started with something called a training bra. That device shaped my belief that in order to be successful, I had to go to school and on to college and upon graduating I would find a job and work my way up over the years to achieve excellence, a sense of accomplishment and financial security. It formed my belief in a prince who would gallop into my life and whisk me away in Cinderella style to a romance-novel reality. It fashioned the idea that my parents would grow old gracefully together and I’d find my own happily ever after. The realities of my life experiences didn't match up to the pattern of expectation I'd been folding over in my mind for years, wondering why I just couldn't seem to fit in like everyone else.

As I've grown wiser, I realize that my soul isn’t cut from the same cloth as this mind bra. My soul has been on a journey of its own – determined not to be held firmly in place by the rigidity of any contraption. As I've come to accept this part of myself, and even embrace it, I've found more peace, and surprisingly, more ease in the flow of things in my life.

 El Dorado Hot Springs, AZ

El Dorado Hot Springs, AZ

 Goldie in the Desert

Goldie in the Desert

I busted loose from the fabric of society when I dropped out of high school. I felt ashamed of myself because I wasn’t fitting in to what I was trained to believe was the norm. Like most young people, I didn’t realize I had any authority over my dominion. Society and family structures often guide us on the well-worn paths of what is expected, acceptable and safe. I believed this meant that I was worth less than other people who not only graduated from high school but who also selected very specific college majors that supported their grand life plan. I envied those people. I had no clue what I wanted to devote my life to and it created daily angst which was intensified by the results of many aptitude and career assessment tests. All of which concluded I should be an actor, teacher, writer, nurse or artist. On occasion the test spat out a random result like Judge or Public Safety Administrator. At fourteen years-old I didn’t know how to become any of those things. I wanted to know every possible career choice that existed before I was going to make such a monumental decision. I believe this was the birth of my love for buffets. I want to stroll along and view all the offerings before I decide what delicacies to put on my plate. 

I did go on to graduate from college with the most vague degree in the collegiate system; Liberal Arts. And while I was proud of myself for the accomplishment of graduating with honors, I was also filled with a sense of dread that the time had finally come when I would have to decide what to do for the rest of my life.

I looked outside of myself for guidance, for permission to dabble – to sample from the buffet of life’s choices. But no one told me I didn’t have to make an on-the-spot decision with the biggest investment of my life; my heart, my soul, my mind and my time.

A week ago, some snake-oil salesman told me I had to make an immediate decision to buy into a ten thousand dollar RV timeshare or be blocked from the opportunity to part with my money for 2 years. I told him I don’t make any large purchases or investments without doing a lot of research. Perhaps my life has been devoted to conducting intensive research before making such a monumental decision as to what I want to be for the rest of my life. When I think about it, I’ve actually been in the R&D field for over 40 years!

I’ve held the torch of liberty to the outer edges of this tattered mind bra I’ve finally outgrown. I’m setting my thoughts on fire, giving them plenty of liquid permission to spread and burn bright.

Here’s to the next 1,600 braless miles driving Goldie. These girls are finally free.

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