Wine Sex and Suicide my near death divorce

A heartbreakingly raw, day-to-day journal showing the depths of despair of an abandoned wife who battles the conflicting desires to numb the pain while wanting to move on and live a peaceful life with meaning and purpose. 

For 17 years, Patty Hayes saw her identity as her husband’s wife. When the marriage ended abruptly, she spiraled into an abysmal darkness. Splashed with her intimate thoughts, her day-to-day struggle paints a picture of a woman disconnected from her true self and illustrates the dangerous after shocks of being a dependent spouse. 

Wine, Sex and Suicide – my near death divorce takes us on a colorful journey from a small village in Romania where Patty volunteered at an orphanage for her first Christmas alone, to dive bars and dance clubs in Hollywood where she went on the prowl seeking sexual validation from young men, to the stark clinical backdrop of the psychiatric hospital where she made a friend, and ultimately to her decision to leave the city she’d known for 20 years and move to a small town to start over.

Laced with humor, Patty’s story will speak to those who’ve ever felt broken and lost. Her determination to overcome the gripping addictions will give hope to others who may be going through the dark night of the soul that it is possible to transcend the pain and find purpose.

"Brava to Patty Blue Hayes for having the strength and courage topen a heartfelt, riveting, and unflinchingly honest account of her divorce andsubsequent downward spiral. Packed with insights and emotionaldiscoveries, Wine, Sex and Suicide - My Near Death Divorce, is a must-read foranyone who has struggled to recover from a life-jolting setback."
- Franz Wisner, NY Times bestselling author of Honeymoon with MyBrother and How the World Makes Love

My Heart Is Broken. Now What?: 12 Practices To Heal The Emotional Pain Of Being Abandoned By The One You Love

This is an easy to follow guide of 12 practices that I gathered up along the way of my very bumpy path of healing from heartbreak. 

Simple and comforting to read, I offer suggestions for implementing different thoughts and actions to ease the heavy weight of a broken heart.

The practices include: Asking for Support (and why some people won't be there when you need them the most), Extreme Self Care, Gratitude and Perspective (my favorite use for a magnifying glass), Using a Filter, Meditation and Mindfulness, Feel - Express & Release, Change Your Environment, Find a Super Hero, Connect with Your Soul Self, The Mirror Technique, Volunteering.

"Patty is an inspirational writer. I adore her brave heart. She endured her broken heart, gathered the pieces and reglued them in gold for you and I to share and shine in her brilliance. This book is a step by step guide which will help you in your journey each time your heart is chipped or shattered. As a soul coach myself I find it easy to refer to Patty's book as a guideline for when someone shows up at the Ventura Healing Center with a broken heart. Thanks Patty for heartfully arranging the process in sequential steps."
- Keya Murthy, Award-Winning author of Landing on the Lap of Buddha: Simple Steps to Stop Suffering

Coming Soon...

Resiliency is the new currency. I ventured off to work at an elephant sanctuary in Thailand with visions of connecting soulfully with the animal I'd adored since childhood. But upon arrival after just a few days I had a gut feeling things were not as they had been advertised. That experience led to a complex quest for the place between cultural norms, my American perspective and my intuition.

Next stop was with Dove Missions in the Dominican Republic where I helped with a rooftop gardening project at the boys and girls club. Only later did I learn that the chicken manure I'd been advised to use as fertilizer made forty kids vomit hours after eating their first grown tomatoes. 

And finally, I returned to a place from my past that had been a life-saver when my marriage ended. This time, I returned to the orphanage home in the Carpathian Mountains of Romania to complete my English teaching practicum.

What I learned through these experiences is that my security isn't bound to finances, but more to my own feelings of being able to manage whatever comes my way in life and create plan C, D and E.


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